After an extended half-time period over the summer it was time to kick off again in search of more exciting and tasty breakfast opportunities. It felt a bit weird at first, slipping the notebook into back pocket, making sure to put pen in the pocket without the holes, not eating too much upon waking up. It almost didn't happen; Saturday's breakfast was dependent on the cancellation of football training. Due to a lack of numbers, myself and Josh (and Lou it turned out) were bereft of morning action, and so, finally, after several aborted attempts, we finally made it to Cafe Motu for breakfast.
Josh is one of the most important
players for Kemp Town FC. Not only is he (at the time going to press)
the 2nd highest goalscorer in the history of the club, as
well as the winner of multiple end of season awards, he
is also an important part of the club's social fabric. A club is more
than just 11-14 individuals thrown together every Sunday to play
football; the social aspect is also integral. Josh represents a
strong side of what I would say makes KTFC a special team to be a
part of. To begin with, he looks esoteric. He looks like the 60s/70s. A
lot of the time, opponents shout “Fellaini!” and “David Luiz!”
at him, but perhaps a more simple and (dare I say it) original label
would be to shout “60s/70s!” As a keen musician playing regularlyin several bands, he is a counter-cultural icon within the Sussex
Sunday Football League, opposing the brutal mundanity that is Jonesy
who likes a bit of banter oi oi foootbaall who are ya you fuckin
melt. That's not how we operate at KTFC. Rather than that brand of
'banter oi oi foootbaall you melt' behaviour, we take pride in
learning the capital cities of the world. Jon Ablondi managed to chat
up a girl one night with the successful application of the capital city
of Eritrea.
Anyway, Josh was disappointed that Cafe
Motu had changed hands recently. No longer were the walls furnished
with pictures of Dylan and Bowie sitting around and eating
sandwiches. Instead, more familiar pictures of chic locations and
other brutal mundanities clad its walls. And the table was wobbly.
We also spent a bit of time bemoaning the state of British culture.
Josh has recently been bit by a serious reading bug and has been
racing through classics such as Catcher in the Rye,
Down and Out in Paris and London,
and The Great Gatsby,
making him outraged that drivel such as the poorly, poorly written 50
Shades of Grey (a book whose
opening three pages (all I could bear reading) make my shoddy efforts
at culinary journalism look like Shakespeare re-writing Ulysses)
can make millions. I chipped in with a little rant about people not
realising that a world of music exists outside of radio playlists,
and our exasperated moaning continued. Then Kings of Convenience came
on and Josh perked up.
Whilst
we were worrying about what it is best to eat before a football match
we were joined by Louis Browne. Lou is the captain of KTFC and
another key member of the team. You could view him and Josh as the
ventricles and atria of the club. Possibly. In any case, there's
no denying the amount of heart they possess... Lou would go on to
provide supporting analysis during the breakfast, rather like a hungover
Andy Gray.
And so the breakfast:
Motu's Vegetarian Breakfast
2 eggs, full tomato, 2 hash browns, mushroom, toast, 2 vegetarian sausages (with beans or avocado)
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| Motu's Vegetarian Breakfast - £5.45 |
After being asked if we were ready to order three times without success, we finally placed our orders and were rewarded with a rich bounty. My first excitement came with seeing that I had been given both beans and avocado. This was to be an exciting first step into the world of the avocado at breakfast, and a step that I knew I should have taken years ago. We were also offered some ground pepper, from one of those grinders that are normally half the size of the waiter wielding them. Nice individual touches that made me feel special, a positive start to the breakfast experience.
Lou says: "Best ever cappuccinno."
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| Kemp Town FC's beating heart |
The abundant dry items tasted superb. Along with the toast I was served some champion sausages, emulating their meaty counterparts with great efficiency, and some lovely crispy hash browns. Three top components. Unfortunately they did not receive the back-up they deserved from their colleagues. The eggs had soft whites and syrupy yolks, but did not put out as much as others have done in the past. Whilst the tomato had a sweet and yielding soft outer layer, the core was firm and did not ally itself as much as it could have done with the rest of the dish. The beans provided support which was salty, stern and strong, but they were not plentiful enough to carry the numerous dry players. Perhaps in the absence of further beanage came the avocado, and although it offered a different and exciting texture and coolness, there was still a slight gap. Finally, the mushrooms, served drily with a pure and honest taste. Longer cooking would have provided more flavour and moisture, as would have additional seasoning. In the end they were merely a competent component.
Lou: "Unbelievable mushrooms, best in Brighton. Better than my mum makes."
The problem of the dryness could have been solved either with a larger portion of beans, or by cooking items such as the tomatoes, mushrooms, and egg differently. Sure, there's nothing wrong in needing to use the red and brown sauces in order to get maximum enjoyment from your breakfast, but I prefer it when a breakfast is self-contained and self-sufficient. The sauces detract from what makes the breakfast unique and special, covering up any idiosyncrasies with sharp homogenous flavours. Still, it tasted good, and more importantly made me feel good. Inches away from glory. It left me thinking, what if? With some extra beans and some photos of David Bowie, how far could Cafe Motu have gone?
Function: warm jets everywhere 4/5
Adherence to canon: Yes
Taste: largely good, but dry 4/5
Value: very good amounts for the money 4/5
Presentation: bright and chirpy 4/5
Venue: warm and eager to help 4/5
Overall: a good place, but could have been great - 4/5
Appendix 1) Useful capital cities to know:
Eritrea - Asmara
Namibia - Windhoek
Moldova - Chisinau
Guyana - Georgetown
Benin - Porto-Novo
Andorra - Andorra la Vella
South Africa - Pretoria (de facto)
Wales - Cardiff
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