Liaising with Lee at Langelees

July 13th.

Work colleagues are an interesting breed. With most acquaintances you make there is some common ground, an automatic connection to a shared interest or belief, which is the reason for you becoming acquaintances in the first place. Work colleagues largely differ in this respect, as for lots of people the primary reason for having a particular job is due to a need to make money. This means that you are thrown into close proximity with a group of people whom you may have no shared interests or beliefs at all. There is a risk that getting a job may place you in the unenviable position of being stuck in a small room for 37.5 hours a week with a bunch of racists, misogynists and X Factor fans. It's enough to put you off getting a job altogether.

Fortunately the vast majority of people I have met through working at the hospital in Lewes have been lovely people. Lee Osborne is one of these people. She is not racist or misogynistic (though I'm not entirely sure of her views on the X Factor), and she is one of the kindest people I have ever had the fortune of meeting. She has the biggest heart in Sussex, without a doubt, and if she can think of anything that she reckons might please or help one of her pals she will do it without question. In fact, just a few weekends ago she carried an office chair back support all the way down from Scarborough to Brighton for our colleague Sharon, having spotted one in a shop up there. What a hero!

She is also quite a talented individual, and likes to spend some her spare time engaging in crafts. She is adept at knitting and making jewellery, and from time to time she will bring some of her creations into work for purchase. Always handy if you've forgotten a crucial birthday/anniversary/religious observance.

It was for a crucial birthday/anniversary/religious observance that Lee first visited and then fell for Langelees; she went there for a Christmas meal and was won over when she asked if she could have some sautéed potatoes and the staff went to get some for her especially. From tales such as this, another one where they opened especially for her son's birthday, and her interactions with the staff whilst we were there, it was clear to see that this was a friendly establishment indeed.

The interior was that of a traditional cafe, but as it was a nice day we opted to sit outside at the back. It was very similar to a pub garden with a full complement of wooden benches, garnished with a some hanging baskets and some bird poo. Delightful and down to earth. Just like our conversation; we wiled away the time chatting blissfully about pet therapy and pregnancy cravings until the breakfast arrived.

And so, the breakfast:

The Brighton

2 Quorn sausages, 2 hash browns, 2 fried eggs, garlic sautéed mushrooms, tomato, Heinz baked beans & fresh cut toast

The Brighton - £5.50

Here I was presented with a very down to earth looking breakfast; everything was arranged clearly and honestly in front of me, and in good amounts. Overall the tastes were straight with me from the off as well. There were no pretensions here, just simple components prepared competently.

There were a couple of items that suffered from dryness; the hash browns were light and swirly, and could have been viewed as faint hearted compared to others, though they were enthusiastically potatoey in spite of this. The beans also had a slight dry aftertaste, which meant that additional condiments were required. Other moisture was provided well by the tomatoes, rich and well-cooked with a perfect fleshy softness, but the other moist allies, the eggs, were quite firm, with cloudy albumen and solid yolks only providing the most modest support.

Lee Osborne - an absolute star

The traditionally dry items performed very well. The sausages were well-cooked also, with a firm skin giving way to sage. The toast (on a separate plate), of which I was given a choice of type, was soft, gentle, and wholesome, triumphantly so, like a family man. Lee suggested that they made their own bread, and this represented the homely nature of the venue well. In addition to this, every hot drink there is served with a small homemade biscuit, which proved to be absolutely delightful.

The real glory on the plate though was with the mushrooms. They were garlicky with gay abandon, keeping all vampires away from Langelees for a five-mile radius. The portion size was top as well, meaning that I, the arch-garlicophile, was in seventh heaven.

The breakfast felt good. Now, I wasn't so keen on the proximity of the bird poo to my meal, but considering how vigilant the staff of Langelees were when it came to making sure we were feeling at home, I reckon this may have been a rare oversight. The meal itself was homely with enough embellishing (by embellishing I mean 'cooking in garlic') to make it stand out a little from other breakfasts and for me to overlook some of deficiencies of other elements; the home-made biscuits, the garlic, the home-made bread, the garlic, the garlic - it all added up. You got a decent amount for your dollar as well, with double helpings of the more singular components. It may not be the most obvious cafe in Brighton, hidden in plain sight just over the road from St. Peter's Church, but it is definitely worth a look if you're in that area. And ifyou like garlic sautéed mushrooms early in the day.

Function: home-made makes homely 4/5
Adherence to canon: Yes and garlic
Taste: dryness in places compensated with superb garlic (mushrooms) 3/5
Value: good ample portions for your coin 4/5
Presentation: simple, effective 4/5
Venue: staff willing to go the extra mile (although beware bird poo) 3/5

Overall: heck, I love garlic - 4/5