Snacking with Sophie at the Almond Tree

September 13th

For those new to this blog (if so, you should probably start at the beginning) or my dietary habits in general, I’ve been vegetarian for about 8 years now. Ever since I moved out of self-catered halls of residence at Exeter University - away from a world of jackpot casserole, red dragon pie, the occasional shark and celery in every savoury dish - and started cooking for myself, I have been vegetarian. I tend to avoid celery though.

I had known vegetarians before going to uni. Some of my closest friends were. At the time, 50% of my band, the all-conquering Philanthropy (way ahead of our time, go check us out), subscribed to the way of the vegetarian, but it was only when the full responsibility of the kitchen came my way that I was ready to make the move.

It also helped that I met twice as many vegetarians in my first year in halls. The ethical reasoning for vegetarianism was just that bit more persuasive when it was coming from those poor heroes who had to sit through meagre dinners of couscous and celery on far too many occasions. The finer points of vegetarian cuisine were as yet unknown to the kitchen staff of Duryard Halls of Residence.

The majority of my friendships at Exeter Uni were forged in our halls of residence. I only made a handful of pals from my course. When I came to study at Sussex Uni I wondered if this would be repeated, especially considering that working full-time around the course meant that I wouldn’t be able to socialise all that much after seminars. Perhaps creative writing students in Sussex are a bit nicer than English students in Exeter? Who knows. Ultimately I was a bit more successful at making friends at Sussex than I was down in Devon.

Sophie Howell-Peak is one of these Sussex friends. I first met her during a module on Deconstruction and Creative Writing that was partly enlightening and exhilarating and partly mind-boggling. She is a skilled writer whose short pieces made their way to the final of Quick Fictions some years back. She also has a wonderful taste in music and politics, and since then we have been to numerous gigs, marches and writing workshops, having a rather nice time whilst doing so.

At breakfast we had a chat new job opportunities. Sophie had recently finished a teaching diploma, and had recently decided to turn a mega-job, staying loyal to the school that had funded her studies. I started a new job a few months ago myself and can now refer to myself as medical journalist. Not quite food journalist, but there is some crossover.

Sophie is also a vegan, which helped us decide on the Almond Tree Cafe as our breakfast venue that day as it was sold to us as particularly vegetarian and vegan friendly*. A true friend of animals (apart from the albino slug that recently invaded her bathroom), she is a keen defender of animal rights and we had a nice wee chat about the ethics of using animals in medical research, pet ownership and the prevalence of cats in Eastern Europe.

While on holiday in Croatia (following in the footsteps of both my parents and Steve Kelly. Seems like it’s the place to go this year…), Sophie found time to read a lot of books, including two major classics: Nabokov’s Lolita and Kafka’s The Trial (heavily recommended). Both were rapturously received. She recounted to me a maxim that she had picked up recently from a friend, that “a classic is something you will always find something in.” I definitely subscribe to this, and not just for literature as well. You can always find something inspiring or surprising in film, music and even meals…

Vegan breakfast

Flat mushroom, roasted tomatoes, polenta, tofu, baked beans, veggie sausage and toast

Vegan breakfast - £6.30

I decided that I would go for a vegan breakfast in Sophie’s honour. Although it was canonical suicide, the decision was also influenced by the fact that their veggie breakfast did not come automatically with beans. I would have to go off-piste one way or another, and the offer of new components for me to try such as tofu sealed the deal.

The Almond Tree Cafe is a small and unassuming little place located in the Seven Dials area. I had walked past in many a time in the past, but until then I had not fully realised what it was. Although it looks like it might just sell basic cafe fare such as tea and cake, it is a fully loaded vegetarian and vegan eating establishment, with extensive breakfast, lunch and drinks menus.

Sophie is a fan of monk spoons.

The only downside to it from the outlook was its size, which left us with little choice but to sit at a table outside. Nothing innately wrong with that, but the Dyke Road side of Seven Dials is not the most picturesque, and sitting in shade amidst slight breezes left me regretting my choice of shorts.

However, fans of spoons with monks engraved in the handle might find that the benefits of the cutlery outweigh these negatives.

When it arrived, I was excited by the appearance of the tofu and polenta. Sure, I’d eaten them before (polenta especially, during my world cup experimentation), but I had never experienced them within the framework of the British cooked breakfast.

The more familiar components were well prepared, providing the mixture of flavours and textures that I always look for. What made them especially enjoyable is that the more basic ingredients tasted different to the standard fare you often encounter.

The mushrooms were juicy enough on their own, but here they had been augmented by red pesto, giving them a sharp edge which mushrooms rarely have. The tomatoes, similarly, had been herbed in rosemary, making their soft flesh a more intriguing prospect. In addition, the beans may well have been home-made. They were rich, warming and soft as tissue.

Perhaps there was a little too much softness on the plate. The sausage felt great to eat, with a texture and herbiness akin to stuffing, but perhaps this was a little too similar to the beans and other flesh components. The sausage also had a facet of sweetness to it which made it stand out from the previous ones I’d sampled.

Condiment monk? Sauce saint?

Still, there was firmer crunchiness to be found elsewhere. The toast was powerful in this respect; wholesomely crunchy and formidably chewy, it served as a great counterpoint to the other components on the plate, yet could easily be satisfying alone with a sliver of almond butter.

The outer edge of the polenta was also crisp. Again, the texture within was possibly too much like some of the other ingredients, and its saltiness could have been provided more satisfactorily by hash browns.

The big surprise though was the tofu. Approaching the breakfast, this was the dark horse, the real unknown on the plate. I was amazed to find that it did a decent job of filling the void in the canon left by the egg. It’s texture was incredibly close to a very well fried egg white, and had a similarly subtle flavour to it. Heck, it even looks like egg without the yolk in the photo!

Admittedly, the yolk is the best part of a fried egg. The almond butter covered for some of the missing silkiness, and the other vegetables provided plenty of juice. On the whole, egg was not missed. This was quite a revelation and it has thrown my notions of a cooked breakfast canon right up in the air. It shows that you can have a cooked breakfast without an egg and it still feel like a cooked breakfast. There may be an element of character that is missing though.

In all honestly I haven’t thought enough about this conundrum, but for the time being the lack of egg did not hold this one back at all. The only thing that really held this breakfast back was the venue. A larger place with ample room indoors would have given the meal the setting it deserves. Where would you rather a read a classic text? At a stout oaken table beside a roaring fire, or on a damp bench beside a roundabout decorated with discarded gum and exhaust fumes?

Function: despite non-adherence to the canon, this worked well - 3/5

Adherence to Canon: No...but somehow it didn't matter

Value: felt decent - 3/5
Taste: top tastes but could have done with more variety - 4/5

Presentation: lovely cutlery and just look at that plate - 4/5

Venue: so little space indoors that you couldn't really eat here in bad weather - 2/5

Overall: if they could expand their operation they could hit the heights: 3.5/5

* A special mention must go to the gracious custodian of Number 19, another cafe situated on the other side of Seven Dials. We had originally gone there, but upon finding that their provision for vegetarians (let alone vegans) wasn’t great, he kindly recommended visiting the Almond Tree. I can’t vouch for the quality of his food, but his generosity deserves recognition. A top chap and true ally of fastbreaking.

Desayuno con Diego en the Manor

June 15th.

Kemp Town F.C. is a truly cosmopolitan team. As a member of the club, I have had the pleasure of playing with people from all over the world. The following nations have all at one point or another been represented on the playing field in a competitive fixture by the Pink Turtles:

Australia

Austria

Cyprus

France

Hungary

India

Indonesia

Ireland

Italy

Malta

Portugal

Scotland

South Korea

Spain

Switzerland

Uganda

Yorkshire

It truly is a testament to how international a city Brighton is.

One nation that appears to be particularly well represented in Brighton is Spain. I can remember the morning after Spain’s world cup win in 2010 quite vividly; upon arriving at Old Steine at 7.10am to catch my bus to work that Monday, I was greeted by a sea of empty cans and bottles and a sizable crowd of 20 or so revellers dressed in the rojo of the newly crowned world champions.

I would dread to think what the mess would be like if Scotland were ever to win something.

We have had a number of Spaniards turn out for Kemp Town F.C. One of the first members of the club was Juan Serra, possibly the most laid back individual I have ever met as well as the most stylish. Recent team sheets have been graced by Luis Herrera, someone who played under the bright lights of Elche many moons ago. But possibly the most beloved and dedicated Spaniard would have to be Diego Corbalán Muñiz.

Diego found the club when he spied us playing down the road from his house after moving to the area. We invited him along to train and, several hundred nutmegs later, he had become a regular with the team.

Diego is both one of the friendliest people I have ever met, and perhaps one of the most adventurous. During his stay in England he would try to explore as many different places, landmarks and customs as possible, and it’s plausible that in the few short years he lived in Brighton he probably saw more of Sussex than I have (mostly via bicycle).

One thing that Diego had not sampled though was the English breakfast. This was a matter that needed to be rectified before he returned to Spain, and so we headed down to The Manor in central Brighton one Sunday morning to right this wrong. We were accompanied by the ever-present captain of Kemp Town F.C., Louis Browne.

As could have been expected, we had a lovely time chatting about Diego’s time in England and Game of Thrones. Both Diego and Lou are big fans of the programme, and the wait for our food was filled with lamentations of *SPOILER ALERT*the fate of Prince Oberyn Martell.*SPOILERS END HERE* The brutality of his death scene *ACTUALLY THEY KIND OF END HERE* was not something that any of us would be forgetting in a hurry.

I was supposed to play a game of chess with Diego that day, but unfortunately I had to dash off prematurely after our meal as I had a hungover little brother to see to. The breakfast would have to suffice as the centrepiece of our day.

And so, the breakfast:

Veggie Works

2 x veggie sausage, mushrooms, beans, fried egg and toast

Veggie Works - £6.75

As I looked over at Diego’s plate opposite mine, filled with hash browns, bacon and black pudding, I hoped that Diego would find the experience pleasant and fulfilling. The regular-sized breakfasts at the Manor were traditional in their make up, and would provide a decent entry to the world of the full English.

The best thing about the breakfast was probably its texture. Each component had a solid texture to it that was both pleasing and interesting. The sausages were full-bodied and meaty, the beans were velvety and the toast was thick and nicely chewy. Each of these items was enjoyable to mull over in the mouth.

Ser Diego and Ser Louis visiting King's Landing

Unfortunately, a couple of the items could not back up their textures with flavours that could sustain interest. There was certainly not much body to the flavour of the sausages, and the mushrooms were plain with only a hint of saltiness.

The egg and tomatoes mixed things up just enough, providing moisture and little bursts of smooth sweetness to provide contrast with the rest of the dish. They were fairly standard in what they brought to the meal, however, and could perhaps have done with some additional seasoning in order to lift the dish out of the ordinary.

My main criticism of the breakfast therefore, would be that it was rather plain. Each of the components (apart from the toast, perhaps) felt as though it had simply been heated up and that was that. No additional care, love or seasoning had seemingly been bestowed upon them.

What this led to was a cooked breakfast in the most basic of senses. A very standard dish. It may have served as a good entry into what a cooked breakfast is comprised of, but it did not serve to illustrate the dizzying heights that can be achieved by a breakfast with a little bit of homely love and panache.

Diego did enjoy his breakfast which was the main thing, but I feel as though there is some unfinished business. Now that The Manor has opened the door to the breakfast kingdom, I feel as though the next time our paths cross I should be able to guide him towards one of the many landmarks or tourist traps. That, plus we still have a game of chess to play. Pero cuando?!

Function: Adequately heartening - 3/5

Adherence to Canon: Yes

Value: On the cusp of being a fair price - 3/5
Taste: Decent but nothing special - 3/5

Presentation: Sprawling toast could have done with a bigger plate - 2/5

Venue: Cosy little cafe with pleasant service - 3/5

Overall: Very standard fare. Larger breakfasts here offer more options - 3/5

Licking The Plate Clean: finishing off the Breakfast World Cup

So, I've had plenty of time to mull over the final stages of the Breakfast World Cup. It is now time for me to lay this ghost to rest, finish off the last few scraps that remain on the plate and digest it all in time for engaging once more with my original raison d'ėtre.


SECOND ROUND:

Mexico beats Chile

Brazil beats Australia

Costa Rica beats Greece

England beats Japan

Switzerland beats Argentina

Iran beats Ecuador

USA beats Algeria

Portugal beats South Korea

In these match-ups, it was a variety of flavours and textures that tended to win the battle. Each winner just had a wee bit more depth than the opposing breakfast. In close run clashes, a warmer, heartier dish would win the day over a colder one. A bit of warmth gets me going better at the start of the day.

And so, on to the...

QUARTER FINALS:

Mexico beats Costa Rica - the huevos rancheros flavours were more vibrant than those of the gallo pinto.

England beats Brazil - the hosts just couldn't match the total breakfasting of the English dish.

Switzerland beats USA - this was incredibly close, but the ease at which the Swiss breakfast was created gave it an edge for me over the pancakes.

Portugal beats Iran - another close one. Iran's breakfast was great, but the hearty warmth of the Portuguese dish did it for me.

Oh shiiiiiiii...we're getting close now...

SEMI FINALS:

Mexico beats Switzerland - vibrancy, warmth, spiciness...Although the muesli was easy to make, so too were the huevos rancheros, and with them came a much heartier depth.

England beats Portugal - the Portuguese dish was a powerful adversary, but ultimately lacked the incredible versatility of the full English, whose vast array of textures and moisture levels was too great to be overcome.

There can be only one...

FINAL:

England beats Mexico.

Slightly predictable, you might think. For me though, the full English breakfast is just the best way to go. Yes, my opinions may be Anglocentric and biased by years of eating this particular meal. Yes, yes, yes, yesyesyesyesyesIdon'treallycare.

Ultimately, the Breakfast World Cup was not about what is the greatest breakfast in the world. Rather, it was a way to try out new things and an exercise in making time to enjoy what should be a delicious and relaxing occasion, as opposed to a rush madcap dash to wolf some poorly cooked bread. Or worse, nothing at all.

Hopefully this has been an interesting read. There are a great many dishes here that I would recommend, but above all I would recommend making time in the morning to break your fast good and proper. The video below shows how one can feel if they do just that.

Knockout Stage: Second Round

And with that, we can move on to the knockout stages...

Here is the draw for the second round. Each group winner has been paired with the runner-up from the adjacent group (Winner of Group A vs. Winner of Group B and so forth), mirroring the knock-out structure of the football world cup:

Mexico vs. Chile

Australia vs. Brazil

Greece vs. Costa Rica

England vs. Japan

Switzerland vs. Argentina

Iran vs. Ecuador

USA vs. Algeria

South Korea vs. Portugal

Whilst some of those are easy for me to call, there are a couple of clashes that will take some pondering. I will leave those there for the moment, and come back with answers by the end of the weekend.

Group C Final Standings

END OF GROUP C:

1. Greece

2. Japan

3. Ivory Coast

4. Colombia

This group wasn't the most exciting of groups, with each breakfast feeling like an exercise in competence rather than being genuinely exciting. Greece topped the group due to its simplicity and ease in preparation more than anything. It was tough to call between Japan and Ivory Coast, but Japan just had a little more going on on the plate.

Japan

Group C - JAPAN

What was it?

Steamed rice with nori (toasted seaweed), miso soup and “rolled” omelette.

How was it?

The overall feel of this particular breakfast was salty and stodgy. It was a fun mixture of textures, with each item wildly different from the others. The best component was the nori, when wrapped around rice with some soy sauce. This gave the dish its only real source of sweetness, allowing it to stand out dramatically.

Overall thoughts:

If I had accompanied this meal with some other extras (perhaps some pickles) to add greater variety to the flavours then it would have been more enjoyable. As it was, it felt unrelentingly salty. Still, it was a pleasant mixture of different types of component, and easier to put together than it initially looked (although my attempt at a rolled omelette came out more or less like any other omelette…)

If it was a Japanese footballer?

I felt powerful eating so much rice and egg, so I’d have to go with the defender Maya Yoshida.

Colombia

Group C - COLOMBIA

What was it?

Arepas! Little pitta-esque pockets filled with cheese. Dough was made from a mixture of cornmeal and water, then formed into small discs. These were briefly fried to make the outsides slightly crispy, before they were placed in the oven for 20 minutes.

How was it?

This was another breakfast that fell victim to house moving. Whilst I was making the areapas I grew distracted by packing and so accidentally left them in the oven for too long. What were supposed to open up softly like pitta breads became solid and bread-like. I was still able to open them up a wee bit, but the amount of cheese I could get in was minimal.

Overall thoughts:

These could have been delicious, but due to my inefficiency they were a dry stodgy hassle. I’ll have to give them another go when I don’t the pressure of an imminent removal van breathing down my neck, as the potential is there. Unfortunately on this occasion though, I did not enjoy this breakfast much at all.

If it was a Colombian footballer?

Dry and stodgy, like the veteran defender Mario Yepes.

Group G Final Standings

END OF GROUP G:

1. USA

2. Portugal

3. Germany

4. Ghana

This was a very, very difficult one to call. Well, so far as choosing which breakfast was number one and which was number two. Both USA and Portugal were incredibly delicious offerings. In the end I've had to plump for USA ahead of Portugal as its mixture of sweet and savoury gave it an extra dimension over its rival. Germany and Ghana were pleasant in their own ways, but they just couldn't stand up to the others.

Germany

Group G - GERMANY

What was it?

Cold cuts. All the cold cuts. I had some (vegetarian) ham, sausage, spiced sausage, cheddar, gouda and some very seeded bread. All cold. All cut.

How was it?

It was quite full-on. It felt like a battle to wade through, albeit a fun battle. It was pleasing to experiment eating the different meats with the different cheeses, and even though I could divide the ingredients into meats, cheeses, and bread, there was still enough of a variety on the dish to make it interesting.

Overall thoughts:

I should really have gone to town with this one and added in some vegetables to really broaden the range. This type of breakfast works best when multiple people are involved, as that makes it more practical to bring extra components in. It was pleasant and filling, ultimately, but I missed my vegetables. I realise that this is entirely my fault.

If it was a German footballer?

The meaty and carbohydrate-y Manuel Neuer.

Group F Final Standings

END OF GROUP F:

1. Iran
2. Argentina
3. Bosnia-Herzegovina
4. Nigeria

Iran's simplicity was masterful. It was both delicious and precise, which sent it through at the head of the group. Second place went to Argentina, which was good in similar ways but not quite as clinical. I found something revelatory about the Iranian breakfast. Sadly, B&H and Nigeria didn't really stand much of a chance against these two.

Iran

Group F - IRAN

What was it?

Flatbread served with feta and a variety of jams. I went for quince and strawberry.

How was it?

Feta and jam is a brilliant combo, and I can’t believe that I had never had it before. The cloudy bitterness of the feta is nullified beautifully by the sharp sweetness of the preserves. Both quince and strawberry complemented the cheese well. The bread provided a fitting neutral battleground for the flavours to do battle over.

Overall thoughts:

This was a simple and effective meal, quick and easy to put together and rewarding in taste. There were no pretensions and there would be plenty of scope for changing things around as well. A good solid start to the day.

If it was an Iranian footballer?

A man of sweet disposition that plays for an uncomplicated club. We’re looking at Reza Ghoochannejhad.

Bosnia-Herzegovina

Group F - BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA

What was it?

Pura - polenta cooked in water and milk, served yoghurt on top.

NB - I would have waited for the polenta to cool and solidify a bit more, but I was pushed for time and had to leave to catch my train to work…

How was it?

It tasted like a savoury porridge. The yoghurt made for a nice counterpoint, whilst not really adding much to the overall flavour. It was a fairly simple dish, overall.

Overall thoughts:

There were two ways I could have gone with this. A much more savoury style is adopted, and potato and meat can be cooked into the polenta as well (according to my meticulous research). I thought it would be more interesting to try the less savoury approach, and did enjoy finding out how versatile polenta can be. In general though there wasn’t really enough going on with this dish to satisfy me.

If it was a Bosnian footballer?

We're looking at the defensive defending defender, Emir Spahic.

Ghana

Group G - GHANA

What is it?

Oto (oh-tow) - basically yam and red onion mash, served with a boiled egg.

How was it?

I had written this one off after my last yam adventure, but having the yam mashed (or maybe even just cooked properly) and combined with the onion made a massive difference. Texturally it was much more fulfilling, and the red onion’s sharpness lifted it from the nondescript stodge that it could have been. The egg was a nice touch, adding a little bit of subtlety to the dish.

Overall thoughts:

It made me think of a more savoury porridge. It was definitely a pleasant surprise, and, although I probably wouldn’t choose to have it over most things, it was not a hardship to eat. It could have done with a bit more moisture. Perhaps soft-boiling or frying the egg would work, or bringing in a condiment or two.

If it was a Ghanaian footballer?

The adept defender, Jonathan Mensah.

Portugal

Group G - PORTUGAL

What is it?

Polenta with sweetcorn, topped with a tomato and chorizo sauce and grated cheese.

How was it?

This was a top breakfast. Hearty, warming, filling, exciting. Lots of different flavours and textures to be found here. The sweetcorn-augmented polenta served as a good foundation to the breakfast, offering a hefty stooge that was punctuated with kind bursts of sweetness. The tomato and chorizo sauce was simple and effective, giving fire to the belly of the breakfast. Grated cheese did what it always does.

Overall thoughts:

I was won over instantly by the polenta. It was very easy to put together, although it did take a little while for it to cook. Once the various components were in the oven/pan it didn’t take much supervision though, and only a small amount of synchronisation was necessary. This was a great effort.

If it was a Portuguese footballer?

Hard and skilled, we’re looking at Raul Meireles.

Uruguay

Group D - URUGUAY

What was it?

Alfajores! I basically made some small cookie-style biscuits, and used them to sandwich some of my caramel spread/dulce de leche. See here for a recipe.

How was it?

They tasted great, although I am unsure whether this really works as a breakfast. It is very similar problem to that faced by the Spanish breakfast. Still, the biscuits themselves felt quite wholesome and filling, which was good, and the dulce de leche worked brilliantly as a sandwich filling.

Overall thoughts:

The best way to approach these would be to make them, or at least the dough, the night before, as it did take quite a while for me to prepare the dish. The sense of satisfaction on eating them was far greater than that for any of the other breakfasts though. I will definitely make these again, albeit probably not for breakfast.

If it was a Uruguayan footballer?

Tricksy attacking midfielder Gaston Ramirez.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

NB - due to me accidentally forgetting to publish the "End of Group D" blog post, I've had to stick it in here...

END OF GROUP D:

1. England
2. Costa Rica
3. Uruguay
4. Italy


It was fairly inevitable, really. The English breakfast stormed through at the top of the group. It was a close encounter between Costa Rica and Uruguay, but ultimately the gallo pinto felt more apt as a breakfast. The less said about the Italian breakfast, the better.

Nigeria

Group F - NIGERIA

What is it?

Yam with red stew and scrambled egg.

How was it?

In Nigeria’s defence, this effort was hampered by the fact that I prepared it in my new flat which was missing several important things (oil, seasoning, salt). I’ve also never used yam before, and so didn’t know a.) how best to cook it, and b.) how much to cook. Still, even allowing for these handicaps, I didn’t particularly enjoy this breakfast. The yam was too bold and starchy and stifled the red stew (basically a tomato sauce). The scrambled egg did not add enough moisture to the dish.

Overall thoughts:

This dish could easily have been much better. I will hold me hands up and say that a large part of my dislike for this meal comes for how I made it. I could quite easily make it again and have a much better time (season the sauce better, make less yam, more scrambled egg etc.). I am not sold on yam as a breakfast ingredient though, at least not when served plain. I will be making a breakfast soon that will use yam differently, so we shall have to see how that goes before I pass judgement on the humble yam.

If it was a Nigerian footballer?

The occasionally clumsy defender, Efe Ambrose.

Group H Final Standings

END OF GROUP H:

1. South Korea

2. Algeria

3. Russia
4. Belgium

This has been the most competitive group so far, with a lot of different approaches to fastbreaking on display. In the end I've had to go with the South Korean sandwich as my top choice, followed by Algeria. These two just had a bit more power to their flavours ahead of the other two. South Korea pipped Algeria to the top of the group due to its utilisation of vegetables and the short cooking time.

Algeria

Group H - ALGERIA

What is it?

M'shewsha - an Algerian egg dish that is somewhere between an omelette and a cake. See here for a recipe.

How was it?

Texturally, this sat somewhere between an omelette and a sponge cake. It was soft, airy and slightly chewy, with a slight crispiness to the outside. The main body of the m’shewsha only had a subtle sweetness to it, but it absorbed the honey I poured over it readily. It was a sweet treat with a very full body.

Overall thoughts:

Not using any sugar made this dish feel much healthier than it probably was. It was definitely a fuller meal than pancakes would have been, and it did leave me feeling ready to take on the world. It took quite a while to make unfortunately, but is something you could just leave for a while and get on with other things.

If it was an Algerian footballer:

The full-bodied and skilled Sofiane Feghouli.

Group B Final Standings

END OF GROUP B

1. Australia

2. Chile

3. Spain

4. Netherlands

I was surprised that Australia ended up being my favourite here. The problem with Spain and the Netherlands was that they were both too sweet, at times in an overbearing way. They were also quite one-dimensional in terms of what they offered. The heartiness of the steak and eggs just pulled Australia ahead of Chile.

Chile

Group B - CHILE

What is it?

A Latin American kind of cold cuts platter; bread, avocado, cheese and tomato.

How was it?

This was refreshing and healthy. Each of the four components complemented the others, and it was fun mixing and matching them up to see which taste combinations were best. It was quite easy to prepare a large portion as well, so the dish was quite filling.

Overall thoughts:

Very healthy and very easy to prepare. The only problem was that the dish lacked a fire in it. There was no moment of culinary genius or anything that felt particularly catalysing on the plate. I felt refreshed and comfortable, perhaps physically fuelled but not mentally fuelled for the rigours of the day.

If it was a Chilean footballer?

Supportive and familiar but not quite a main player, we’re looking at Jean Beausejour.

Costa Rica

Group D - COSTA RICA

What is it?

Gallo pinto! Black beans and rice refried together and served with toast and a fried egg.

How was it?

The beans and rice had a simple salty taste to them and felt as though they would make a good foundation for some form of salad. The egg worked well alongside, adding much needed moisture to the dish, but the toast, though buttered, was crying out for something less dry and stodgy to accompany it.

Overall thoughts:

Less beans and rice and more egg could have been a good move to make, as the dish was relatively dry as it was. It was a fine way to use up leftover rice, but lacked the well-rounded nature of some other breakfasts. It did feel quite hearty and homely though.

If it was a Costa Rican footballer?

The workmanlike defender, Oscar Duarte.

South Korea

Group H - SOUTH KOREA

What is it?

Gaeran tost-u (egg toast) - basically an omelette containing cabbage, carrot and onion eaten within two slices of toast. Ketchup finished things off.

How was it?

This reminded me of bubble and squeak slightly, probably due to the vegetables used in the omelette. I probably should have seasoned the mixture more before cooking, as I didn’t get much more than the regular tastes of veg and egg. The whole thing felt very wholesome in the mouth. It had a satisfying chew to it.

Overall thoughts:

This somehow managed to feel simultaneously healthy and unhealthy, most likely due to the mixture of traditionally healthy vegetables and oil and ketchup. It was certainly hearty and quick to knock up, and could easily be augmented and refined to become something very delicious indeed.

If it was a Korean footballer?

Definitely and defiantly the ever-dedicated Takhyeong Lee.

Argentina

Group F - ARGENTINA

What is it?

Medialunas with dulce de leche and a cup of mate.

How was it?

The medialunas (half moons/croissants) had an air of sophistication about their sugariness. The mate kept this meal grounded, stopping it from floating away in a sickly sweet haze. The medialunas had a fleshiness to them, which set them apart from other bastions of sweet that appear at the breakfast table.

Overall thoughts:

Simple, effective, and probably just the right amount of sweetness here. Dulce de leche is fairly strong stuff, but it was contained and made to be not too overbearing by the nature of the medialuna and the mate. It was a basic dish, but something about it felt quite refined.

If it was an Argentinian footballer?

Sweet like the delightful Angel di Maria.

Group E Final Standings

END OF GROUP E:

1. Switzerland

2. Ecuador

3. Honduras

4. France

The Bircher Benner muesli was a real sensation and sees the Swiss top the group comfortably. Another close run for second place sees Ecuador slip past Honduras. Honduras' baleada didn't have the textural variety that Ecuador did, as good as it tasted. A very similar outcome to that from Group A.

Ecuador

Group E - ECUADOR

What is it?

Bolon de verde, with a fried egg, hot sauce, and avocado slices.

How was it?

The bolon de verde were plantain dumplings with cheese in them. The plantain were fried until soft,  then mashed with some paprika and chili powder and formed into balls (bolones) with cheese**. These were then fried again until the outside of the balls were brown and crispy. They tasted like a nutty hash brown, and were quite dry. They worked well with egg and avocado which provided moisture to the dish. Some hot sauce (not pictured) helped add even more, and contrasted nicely with the coolness of the avocado and yolk.


*they didn’t go particular soft unfortunately. I probably should have used riper plantain.

**due to the mash being rather crumbly I had to mix the cheese into the plantain mixture, rather than enclosing the cheese within the centre of the ball.

Overall thoughts:

This was a meal that was not too complex on the plate, yet managed to do plenty of different things and do them well. The contrasts between taste and texture were, as ever, very pleasing to me. The main drawback with this dish was how long it took to prepare the dumplings, whose cooking seemingly had a small margin for error. These could be prepared the night previously, but that is a level of hassle that most breakfasts don’t share.

If it was an Ecuadorian footballer?

Versatile and skilled, but with a dark side, we’re looking at Antonio Valencia.

Spain

Group B - SPAIN

What is it?

Churros, hot chocolate, una magdalena.

How was it?

This was very sweet. The churros and magdalena were so sweet that the hot chocolate had a savoury feel to it when I came to drink it. The churros had a chewy crunch to them which was satisfying, and contrasted with soft sponginess of the magdalena, which had a lemony hint to it that set it off nicely. 

NB - I removed the ridiculous amount of icing that was on the cupcake I bought to play the role of magdalena. I was served the churros with some dulce de leche to dip them in.

Overall thoughts:

I am told that this type of breakfast is considered to be something of treat, which for the sake of Spanish diets everywhere is just as well. This was a sugar fest, the kind of breakfast that 7 year olds dream about. There was a good variety to the types of sweetness though, which made it interesting, but I couldn’t help feeling a little guilty that this was actually my breakfast at 9am.

If it was a Spanish footballer?

As sweet a player as Diego Corbalán Muñiz.

Italy

Group D - ITALY

What is it?

Coffee with fette biscottate. I used a tea rusk to represent this, being the closest equivalent I could find.

How was it?

Too slight, too brief. Not enough going on, here. The coffee was great, but my stomach was not convinced. That biscuit should not have been the centrepiece for any kind of meal, let alone breakfast. Barely any flavour, barely any consistency, barely any hope of getting me ready for the rest of the day.

Overall thoughts:

This is no way to start your day. Perhaps midway through the morning, but first thing I want something a little more substantial, thank-you very much.

I had originally failed to find any kind of rusk-like biscuits for this breakfast, and so I originally ate a pain au chocolate with my coffee, to mimic the stylings of the cornetto. This was much better. Pastries are probably the way for the Italians if they’re going to insist on small breakfasts.

If it was an Italian footballer?

Lauded in his homeland, impotent in the World Cup. We’re looking at Ciro Immobile.

Greece

Group C - GREECE

What is it?

The kind of traditional Greek breakfast that is/was available in “milk shops”: hot milk, yoghurt, and bread and butter with honey.

How was it?

This was a very simple breakfast, that provided neat counter-balancing textures and temperatures. The soft bread and innocently sugary honey were delightful to eat alongside the cold yoghurt, and the milk functioned as a palette cleanser that also soothed with warm almost-sweetness. It was a very complete meal.

Overall thoughts:

It was a well-rounded breakfast in itself, but this didn’t feel particularly hearty. There was no strong flavour swaggering around to stoke the fires of the heart. Yes, it was pleasing to eat, but I was not left feeling ready for the day. The warm milk may have contributed to a lethargy that hung over shortly after eating. This meal would probably work better at the opposite end of the day.

If it was a Greek footballer?

Old and sweet, but lacking in power or potency, we’re looking at Theofanis Gekas.